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Memoir Experiment Part Two

I vaguely remember—this must have been the late seventies—nuns trolling the neat pathways between our desks, doling out small handfuls of salted peanuts and little Dixie cups of orange juice. It was all very gulag like. I’m not sure what sort of program this was, as a Catholic school probably would not have been receiving barrels of government surplus nuts. I laugh now at the thought, since it’s a felony to even bring nuts within 50 feet of a school. I guess we didn’t have many allergies in those days. Or those who died of anaphylactic shock were buried in shallow graves behind the school playground where I lived out my daily hell of dodge ball.

But for whatever reason, we were given our daily ration, for a time at any rate. The program was short lived. Perhaps they realized it wasn’t caloric deficit preventing us from mastering our multiplication tables, but just stupidity, a condition immune to even the most intensive nut-and-juice-based treatment techniques. The Dominican nuns eyed us suspiciously, making certain we choked down the rancid nuts and bolted our little cups of astronaut-grade orange beverage. They monitored each aisle carefully, fastidious sentries, with their giant black rosaries like long strands of beetles, ready to come to life and devour us all.

And they monitored the lunchrooms too, perhaps on the lookout for obscure forms of dietary heresy. But of course they never really noticed when anything truly horrible was happening. One day a student—not a bully and not particularly mean, but something of a joker—launched his chair out from the table as I walked past looking for a seat. I went sprawling across the floor to great peels of laughter, my food scattered across the recently buffed floor. I don’t even remember now what kind of food it was that I would have eaten. I remember that for weeks I had a large green bruise on my hip, the size and shape of a turkey drumstick, a tattooed reminder of that humiliating episode. I also remembered that the student who pulled this prank wasn’t laughing. He looked sick.

I try to keep things in perspective and to remember instances like this when I recall the casual cruelties I’ve committed over the years.

My memories of school are mostly characterized by a distinctly dystopian feel. Perhaps this is because I attended Catholic school, though I think all institutions are essentially dystopian, school, prison, corporate workplace—not much to choose between. It turns out that school really does prepare us for the “adult world.” God help us all.

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Memoir Experiment Part One

My first distinct, detailed memory dates from 1974. It was summer, and we were moving into the house on Larchmont, where I grew up on the west side of Springfield, Illinois. I ran up the stairs and down the hallway, straight to my new bedroom. It was to be my own bedroom—for several years, my sisters had to share a room, even though there were four bedrooms in the house. The pink room, as we called it, later became Eileen’s room. My father had had plans to turn it into some sort of office, though he never did. I only remember it in the early days as a storage room for random junk.

I was very excited about my own future room, and I remember racing up the stairs and down the hallway with my mother in pursuit. I reached the end of the hall and flung myself down onto the orange carpeting and kept repeating, “This is my room!” My mother caught up to me and chastised me, telling me to get up off the floor, because the carpet was dirty.

My parents had a strange habit of referring to various things by color. My bedroom was the orange room, named for that same dirty carpet. The walls of the room were beige, in keeping with the quasi-suburban feel of the west side in those days. Eileen’s room was the pink room, named for the walls—the carpet was red. Kathleen’s was the blue room, both walls and carpet were blue. Mom and Dad’s room had walls and carpets that were green, but for some reason, this room escaped the moniker “the green room”—it was simply “Mom and Dad’s room.”

Initially cars were referred to by color and make: the white Pontiac, the green Chevy. Then there was a brief and confusing period during which no clear pattern was discernible. The Aspen wagon should have been the metallic copper Dodge. And the bronze metallic VW Rabbit was simply the Volkswagen, presumably to highlight the vaguely alien aspect of the only foreign car my father was ever convinced to buy (though it was manufactured in the US, in Pennsylvania, I believe). Suddenly the scheme was simplified, reaching an apex of color-based organization. The blue car, the red car, and the purple car came in sequence, being a navy blue Ford Taurus station wagon, a cranberry metallic Chevrolet Corsica my grandmother had driven before she died, and a burgundy Oldsmobile Cutlass Salon, actually closer to the color of dried blood. My sister had driven this last car while in law school and shortly after, but left it behind when she moved to California. I drove it while in college and my friend Herchel and I called it the government car or the FBI car, because it was a large American sedan. We drove around Lake Springfield in that car, drinking cheap beer. Later Herchel married and gave up beer for diet soda. He found Jesus. He died of brain cancer.

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Memoir Experiment: Introduction

When is it appropriate to start writing one’s memoirs? If you are a figure of prominence, power, or popularity, you might have to wait until the moment is right, when the career has peaked in some way. But if you are a nobody, any time is the right time. And I think everyone should try to write this down. I greatly enjoyed reading A Man with no Talents: Memoirs of a Tokyo Day Laborer* and Memoirs of a Breton Peasant.* The simple details of an ordinary life can prove fascinating.

I think I’ve reached the age at which one grows more reflective, turning inward. How did I get here? This whole journey seems improbable and frankly pointless. Why am I who I am? I think the way I reflect on the common details of my remembered background is probably a better approximation of an answer to that question than the details, the facts themselves. So here’s an experiment, kind of like a journal or diary. I’ve always meant to keep one of those but never have. It just seems like it would create another odious obligation. Instead I’ll periodically jot something down, when some memory assaults me. And one memory leads to another with no apparent pattern. I’ll follow these associative chains and see where, if anywhere, they lead. Lucky you.

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The Book of Gin

The Book of Gin by Richard Barnett may be as dry as the London Dry Gin it tracks throughout history and ultimately celebrates as our most civilized spirit. That’s not to say the book is not enjoyable, because it is, but Barnett’s academic background is apparent throughout. That’s a plus in terms of the thorough treatment of the subject.

The story of gin starts with the alchemical discovery of distillation in the middle ages, combined with the use of botanically infused cordials for health purposes. These early proto-gins were largely monastic creations, but it was the early medical community that promoted the virtues of taking these cordials for a variety of health benefits. The mid sixteenth century saw the Dissolution of the Monasteries after Henry VIII’s break with the Roman church. Women now started distilling these cordials at home, but production soon grew to commercial proportions as tipplers discovered these proto-gins to be rather enjoyable to drink, not just as health tonics.

During this same period, the precursor to modern gin was developed by Dutch doctors and apothecaries. Wild juniper was ubiquitous and did a good job of hiding the rough edges of grain spirits. Soon the Dutch thirst for genever spread as sailors with the Dutch East India Company took their preferred spirit with them on their voyages. It was the English, though, who really developed a taste for gin and London became the epicenter of “the gin craze.” Here all the factors were in place for gin to become cheap escape from the brutal lives of the urban poor. And so almost as soon as gin became common (in every sense of the word), the rumblings of the moralists began. At this point the story of gin becomes sad. Barnett is most thorough here, though I was ready to move on to bright young things quaffing cocktails and whiskered and monocled colonials swilling G&Ts in the subcontinental heat. But before gin rises again, it must fall to its low point, so we have lots of quotes condemning gin and its disastrous societal effects, the Gin Acts meant to curb production and consumption, and William Hogarth’s iconic engraving “Gin Lane,” which shows a London firmly in the grips of the filthy claws of demon Gin.

At this very point, some of England’s oldest distilleries were established and a new technique of continuous distillation and rectification vastly increased the capacity to produce London dry gin. Medical thinking had shifted against gin, fire in the bosom now, rather than an enlivening tonic. But the moral opprobrium cast upon spirits crossed the ocean to the new world, where Americans in the latter part of the nineteenth century had already begun their foolish march toward prohibition.

Before we come to the immense growth of cocktail consumption ironically brought about in the U.S. by prohibition, we return to the British Empire and a series of discoveries that have enriched our lives immeasurably. First cinchona or quinine was introduced from South America to Europe by the Spaniards. A little more than a century later, Joseph Priestly created the first carbonated water. The stage was set for the gin and tonic. Without this drink, life would be so much meaningless rubbish to be stoically endured. But gin is also the base for countless other outstanding cocktails and two more discoveries went on to enrich our drinking lives in ways we often fail to adequately appreciate. The early nineteenth century saw the development of both Peychaud’s bitters (more frequently paired with rye whisky in the Sazerac) and Angostura bitters (a German product, but immensely popular with the Brits). Any reader of Evelyn Waugh knows the ubiquitous pink gin that pairs our favorite spirit with Angostura bitters. By the late nineteenth century, the British finally had a method of preserving limes during long sea voyages so the sailors might avoid scurvy. A Scotsman named Lauchlin Rose preserved lime juice by adding a little sulphur dioxide. Everything was now in place for the growth of a serious cocktail culture.

Many pre-prohibition drink mixing guides make it clear that the late nineteenth century already knew some outstanding cocktails, but it must have been the poor quality of illegal spirits during prohibition that necessitated adding a variety of mixers to render them palatable. Prohibition also made cocktails and speakeasies icons of stylish defiance, as well-dressed funseekers quaffed gin late into the night, blithely ignoring the law of the land that would keep good Americans sober. Many Americans simply left America. The lost generation spent much of the period between the wars in Europe. Hemingway and Fitzgerald surely came to epitomize the hard-drinking American author.

We now reach what is perhaps the highpoint of the story of gin. The martini, whose origins are somewhat mysterious, already existed. But it took quality gin to make it well. After the end of prohibition, access to fine spirits returned. The martini must be regarded as the quintessence of gin cocktails. Barnett is good on the fetish for extremely dry martinis, where the vermouth is often omitted altogether. This became the drink embodying the aspirations of a generation during America’s most prosperous decades just after WWII. The semiotic density of that conical glass filled with iced gin could surely be unpacked to reveal the portrait of a nation at one point in time. But that time passed, and that generation came to be regarded as hopelessly square. The cocktail was just one of the symbols of that square life. And so the cocktail (and beautiful gin) went into decline.

Barnett ends on a positive note as the new generation has embraced spirits and the cocktail culture. A new generation of mixologists is resurrecting classic cocktails and creating its own. Small-batch distillers are thriving, in the U.S. as well as England.

It’s a good time to be a drunkard.

JR

Been a while… I mean a long while.

For this past August’s Civil Life reading group we read JR by William Gaddis. This was my second reading of it. I remember the first time I read it I blew through it in about a week. Not so, this time. I started it, with what I thought was ample time… and didn’t finish it until shortly before the next meeting in October (I did take some time to read October’s book).

Anyway, I love this book. Many people do not. Many people who came to the meeting did not. It can be difficult to read, since Gaddis almost never explicitly tells you who’s talking, and the book is primarily dialog. Funny thing is, that’s one of the things I loved about it. Getting to know the characters’ voices is really fun. And funny.

It’s also very dark. I really don’t wanna give a big ole synopsis of the book here, because 1., I’d oversimplify it and 2. it’s really just more fun to read the book itself. Listen to the voices. Laugh about how even though the book was written in the 70s it sounds like it could be taking place right now (with a few minor changes to the technologies used, perhaps).

We’re back!

Sorry for the absence recently! Our web host had upgraded some technologies I use for the site and so I needed to upgrade the site to be compatible… And I took the opportunity to move the site to a new host. I still have a lot of back-end work to do, but at least the blog is functional for now. Thanks for your patience!

xoxoxo,
tree

Page Twenty

“Soft, faded berets against the slate clouds, Mark III Stens set on automatic, mustaches mouthwide covering enormous upper lips, humorless—no chance for any American lieutenant to get a look, not today.”

Photo taken at The Reliance

Page Eighteen

“Things have fallen roughly into layers, over a base of bureaucratic smegma that sifts steadily to the bottom, made up of millions of tiny red and brown curls of rubber eraser, pencil shavings, dried tea or coffee stains, traces of sugar and Household Milk, much cigarette ash, very fine black debris picked and flung from typewriter ribbons, decomposing library paste, broken aspirins ground to powder.”

Photo taken at Bridge Tap House & Wine Bar

Page Seventeen

“It is the dark, hard, tobacco-starved, headachy, sour-stomach middle of the day, a million bureaucrats are diligently plotting death and some of them even know it, many about now are already into the second or third pint or highball glass, which produces a certain desperate aura here.”

Photo taken at The Shanti